Handwritten letter from Gertrude Starkey Pitcairn in Philadelphia to Dr. G. R. Starkey. Letter has been transcribed as the writing is quite faded. Transcription: “Philadelphia, March 29th, 1874. My dear father, Many thanks for your kind letter and the Sunday afternoon talk. I understand the “talk” I think and sincerely hope it will be of all the use to me that you intended it should. But father dear, I fear that I am as yet very thoroughly on the natural place. I do not understand my own nature at all, its workings are so complicated. I think the higher part of my being wants to be a noble women with pure aims of being useful, and I know that the lower part is thoroughly selfish, with an intense enjoyment of the mere external pleasantness of life and finding great satisfaction in what the world has to offer, entirely “of the earth-earthy.” I think this merely natural feeling has been stronger within the past year than it ever was before. It seems to me that it is partly owing to the fact that in my earlier girl-hood I did not have the enjoyment of life that belonged to that period. I have such a longing to be free from all are and restraint. It is such a constant fight between duty and inclination, and I am sorry to say that inclination too often comes off victorious. I feel sometimes that I am so thoroughly wrong and perverted all through that the work of regeneration, even in the smallest beginning, is impossible. The greatest trouble of all is that my understanding is so much greater, than my will to do, is strong. I come to you with this my trouble and I could go to no one else. Mother was always so good, that I think she can not understand my state nor sympathize with it. I know a great deal of it is very wrong, and when you come home, if it is convenient for you, I would like to talk with you. I want to know just how far it is right. Of course I know that any thing that interferes with duty must be wrong. But Oh these details of sewing and housekeeping are so irksome to me. I am certainly in need of help, and I think you will help me to gain it. The household is looking forward eagerly to your return. I hope you will come in a condition to enjoy home more than last time. According to present appearances you will find all the family doing well so far as health is concerned. The two weeks seems a long time to us. Longer to us than to you I guess. I am very much obliged to Edith for the love she would have sent. You may tell her so and give her mine in exchange. Also give my love to the rest of the household. It is genuine March weather here. With love from all Your affectionate, Gertie."